Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Two Months

Malcolm is two months old today! I have so many thoughts about these months rolling around in my head - mostly about how it is so much harder than I thought it would be, but in different ways than I expected - but I'm not sure how to express them. I am discovering that I seem to have to learn the same lessons over and over again in life, for every new challenge I take on. For instance, "experts" are only so useful in any given situation, and all advice must be considered in light of your own personal situation. Also - I don't have to solve every problem, reinvent the wheel, on my own. And I have learned that I have some really, really good friends.

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Seven weeks later

In the NICU, a few hours after birth
Some days I can hardly believe it has only been 7 weeks (tomorrow) since Malcolm was born, and other days I can't believe it has already been 7 weeks. The nightmare of the early days when Malcolm was in the NICU is receding, and while I remember it and could tell you all the details, the emotional impact is no longer so vivid in my mind. Neither is birth or the first couple of weeks at home, sitting on the couch watching the Olympics with a little tiny baby. I guess that is how it is with memory normally, but in our day to day lives we don't really pay that close of attention or have anything worth looking back on in the same way, so we don't notice the memories getting a little hazy. Nor do most events and people we remember change so rapidly as with a new baby. He is different every single day.

7 Weeks, minus one day
We have been walking Miikka around the neighborhood almost every morning, usually with Malcolm in the baby carrier strapped to my chest. I'm learning to read his cues; he's starting to make actual grins and cooing noises. He's sleeping a lot longer at night now, so I only feel like crying in frustration or exhaustion every couple of days, instead of several times a day. I am so looking forward to watching him as he continues to develop and grow!

Benjamin X and Benjamin XI contemplating each other