Friday, May 18, 2012

Slowing Down

I'm slowing down these days - not by choice, exactly, but by necessity. At 7 1/2 months pregnant, I just don't have the energy I usually do to get things done. I know this is natural - my body's making a baby here, after all - but I'm not particularly happy about it. I miss playing tennis several days a week, playing until I am drenched in sweat and exhausted physically and mentally. I miss pushing myself to run just a little farther - when I got pregnant, I was working my way towards being able to run a 10K, and while I could technically still be running, lately, I've had to switch to the elliptical for various comfort reasons. I'm still going to the gym 2 or 3 days a week, but only for 30 minutes most times, and I am still walking the dog around our hilly neighborhood, but I've slowed down there too (not entirely my fault, thanks to Miikka the Reluctant Walker). Soon it will be too hot for me to do much of anything outside, so even walking will have to move to the track in the gym (ugh), which may not actually be slower, but will certainly feel slower due to the lack of visual stimulation.

This forced downshift in activity just feels so strange. I'm not mentally in control of it - my body is in charge of the process, with no help from me  - and that is a bit unsettling for someone who is used to at least having the illusion of control. No matter how much my brain wants to go out and run or play tennis, if my body says no, there isn't much the brain can do about it right now.

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