Running again

Over the holidays, as a form of motivation to keep me from overindulging,  I decided that I want to run a 10K this spring. It is also a bit of unfinished business - at some point while I was pregnant, I had promised myself that I would (a) get back to my pre-baby tennis form and (b) run a 10K. I have achieved the former, but that took all my energy for a while. Now that Malcolm is older, and I have more babysitting options, it is time to get running. The race I picked is scheduled for March 15th, so I have about 8 weeks left to train.

I'm almost two weeks in to my training plan, and while I am enjoying it, the more I run, the slower I feel! I'm trying not to worry about how long any of the distances take, and I'm running slower than I would on the treadmill so I don't get burnt out or hurt, but sometimes I wish I moved more like a racehorse than a chubby pony. Oh well - my goal isn't to win the race, after all, but to finish without walking (although I won't be too upset if I end up walking a bit).

A question for the runners out there: What do you do once the race is over? I mean, what sort of running routine do you have in ordinary time, as it were? I'm not sure how much running would be a good goal to maintain fitness and maybe work on gaining a little speed, without having a deadline to aim for. I'm not really interested in running any more races for now; mostly I want to use running to keep in good shape for tennis, although I am not ruling out a half in the future. If you have any thoughts, share them in the comments.

Slowing Down

I'm slowing down these days - not by choice, exactly, but by necessity. At 7 1/2 months pregnant, I just don't have the energy I usually do to get things done. I know this is natural - my body's making a baby here, after all - but I'm not particularly happy about it. I miss playing tennis several days a week, playing until I am drenched in sweat and exhausted physically and mentally. I miss pushing myself to run just a little farther - when I got pregnant, I was working my way towards being able to run a 10K, and while I could technically still be running, lately, I've had to switch to the elliptical for various comfort reasons. I'm still going to the gym 2 or 3 days a week, but only for 30 minutes most times, and I am still walking the dog around our hilly neighborhood, but I've slowed down there too (not entirely my fault, thanks to Miikka the Reluctant Walker). Soon it will be too hot for me to do much of anything outside, so even walking will have to move to the track in the gym (ugh), which may not actually be slower, but will certainly feel slower due to the lack of visual stimulation.

This forced downshift in activity just feels so strange. I'm not mentally in control of it - my body is in charge of the process, with no help from me  - and that is a bit unsettling for someone who is used to at least having the illusion of control. No matter how much my brain wants to go out and run or play tennis, if my body says no, there isn't much the brain can do about it right now.

Why does the early morning have to be so early?

After a couple of weeks when I barely made it out of bed or off the couch and another week where I get around, but with much coughing and wheezing, I am finally recovered enough from my evil cold to go back to the gym. Which is...great? I like to get exercise, I generally feel better when I do, but man oh man, getting out of bed at 5:15 AM, after not doing so for weeks, is awful. Getting up super early hasn't always been difficult, although if you have been following me for a while, you will know that it is a periodic problem that I tend to whine about. Lately, I suspect the reason is the infant-inconvenience - I just need more sleep now than I usually do. That, and it is just cold and dark out and my bed is warm and soft. No matter the difficulties, I have managed to drag myself to the gym every day this week (Monday sort of doesn't count though, because I had the day off and was able to go at a much more civilized hour).

And I need it, since my tennis team is starting up again for the season, and I have to be in good shape for my singles matches - so much more running around than in doubles! And I intend to play singles for as long as possible this spring. Most people I know actually like playing doubles better than singles - I tolerate it as a necessary evil, since it means I get to play more often than if I was only playing singles. I like that feeling of intensity as I am running around the court, of a one-on-one battle with my opponent, and of not having to feel bad that you ruined the game for your partner. That one is key with me, since I am not particularly good at doubles; I always seem to move the wrong direction, which means I am often out of position for a ball I am supposed to hit. I'm working on that, and may actually be improving, but for now, give me the whole court to myself. Which, in a nice, circular way, leads me back to the gym. And 5:15 AM. Sigh.

Back to "normal"

After a weekend of traveling, a week of playing sleep catch-up, and a weekend of tennis and rain storms, it is back to what passes for normal in my life. It is still raining - we had as much as 5 inches 12 inches in the last few days! - so Miikka may not get a walk this afternoon, but I did make it to the gym for the first time in over a week. I had to drag myself out of bed, for even though I posted last week about being a defiant athlete and wanting to train for a 5K race, it is sometimes still hard to do what I love. 5 AM comes mighty quickly when it is cold and rainy.

At the gym, I started actually training for the 5K, by following a Couch to 5k plan that has been adjusted for the treadmill. Since I only have 5 weeks before the race, I started at week 5. And you know what? It was easy, too easy probably. It only really had me running for 15 minutes, which is less than I was running with my intervals a couple of weeks ago, and although they were in 5 minute increments, I was able to keep up. Actually, I had to tack on an extra 10 minutes at the end, because I had only gone 2 miles, and I am used to going at least 3 when I am on the treadmill. I guess that is OK, and it means I am in better shape than I thought (I tend not to be good at judging my own fitness - what a surprise).

And that is my main criticism of this plan (obviously a well-thought one at that, after one whole session!): I am not sure how they expect you to go 5K in 30 minutes at this stage. Am I not supposed to be going 5K at this stage of the plan? I guess not. I mean, to do that in the time they have you running, you have to run about a 10 minute mile for 30 minutes. I can do that for some of the time, although I don't know if I can yet do that for the whole 30 minutes. I doubt that anyone who is truly coming from couch potato-ness would be able to run that fast, even after 9 weeks of training. They have the running segments ramp up pretty quickly, which again, I don't think someone who is truly un-fit would be able to do.

Hey, it's not perfect, but at least I have a plan to give me some structure. If I have to do more time on the treadmill to get the full distance I am used to, then so be it. That can't really be a bad thing, can it?

A matter of perspective,or it's all relative

As I was leaving the gym this morning at 6:30, after running 3.5 miles and doing a weight routine, I first thought "I wish I could convince myself to do something really crazy hard (to me anyway), like run a marathon or go vegan for a month, just because."

Then I thought, "Most of the people I know think I am already doing crazy stuff for getting up at 5 AM to go to the gym."

Nowadays, I don't think I am crazy for doing such stuff, because one of my cousins has decided to train for an ultramarathon (for more about his running and training, check out his blog), and his brother was almost a Navy Seal and loves Crossfit and working out until he thinks he is going to die, as does their sister's husband (who was also in the Marines and served more than once in Afghanistan). But if last January, when I was first trying to get more exercise and had just started getting up at the early hour of 5:45,  you had told me that I would get up at 5 to go to the gym 3 or 4 days a week, and that it wouldn't feel like enough, I would have thought you were crazy.

I have never really thought of myself as athletic, although one of my favorite activities is hiking, and I love playing volleyball, racquetball and tai chi. I always thought of myself as sort of lazy, physically, not able to really push myself. I am not sure where this came from, except that I guess I bought into the idea at some point that I was more of a bookish nerd than an athlete. I didn't fit in with the athletic kids at school, and I wasn't very good at team sports (partly a problem with being told what to do and getting blamed when the team does poorly, partly I am just a really bad loser - although I am getting better at that). It isn't that I didn't have any role models - my dad played lots of sports while he was growing up and he was always there to play frisbee or go swimming or bike riding or hiking with me, and my mom's dad was a champion football player and track athlete in college, who was playing golf until about a month before he died. He and my grandmother also both hiked the Grand Canyon - after they retired. And even my mom, who I don't think of as liking to exercise that much, was on all the early hikes and bike trips, and spends hours gardening.

Now, as I work on being more mindful and treating myself and others with loving-kindness, I am finally shedding that damaging self-judgment and becoming more fully who I am meant to be. A defiant athlete (who happens to like reading books, a lot of books). It feels amazing.

Let's Have Recess!

After a long holiday weekend, coming back to work is hard. Getting out of bed at my normal time is hard - it is warm, and cozy, and why in the world do I need to go to work?  Keeping awake after lunch is also hard.  So when I read this article about the benefits of recess for adults at work, I was in hearty agreement. Recess would be a great way to wake back up. I am not talking about a full work-out or anything - I, for one, have already done that (see - working out early in the morning smugness at play here). But a chance to get up, walk about the building or around the block without getting penalized or glared at would be so nice.

We did go hiking on Friday, and I do have pictures...they just aren't off the camera right now. Maybe by tomorrow?